Friday, November 12, 2010

chapter 4: failure

October 30, 2010
It finally rained for the first time in a while. The drought is over. When the rain came, I remembered who was in charge; to my surprise, it isn’t me. God gives and takes away, and it is a relief to know that I can rest in him. He isn’t sitting on his throne depending on me to save the world; he needs me to depend on him. I kept thinking that everyone else needed to let go, when in fact I was the one who need to let go. God is God. I am not….thank the Lord!
Some date a long time ago
”Peter is a model of our HUMANITY (the fact of being human); Humanity is the mixture of good and bad qualities-
He wanted to be STRONG, but he was WEAK.
He wanted to be FAITHFUL, but he was INPREDICTABLE.
He wanted to be EFFECTIVE, but he was INCONSISTANT.
He wanted to be SUCCESSFUL, but he FAILED.
Peter was like you and me. He had honorable intentions that never got expressed. He had noble aspirations that stayed beyond his reach. He set goals that were somehow never reached. He made commitments and ended up breaking them.
Failure….We have all felt the force of it’s power to destroy. We have experienced the inner pain that failure brings to its victims.
Luke 22:54- 62- (Peter denies Jesus three times. When the rooster crows, the Lord reminds him that he already knew Peter would do that. Peter them runs away and weeps.)”
November 11,2010
O boy have I failed! Who am I to think that I can do anything without Christ?...especially reach his children. I am only a small piece of the puzzle…and I have to get go of my pride and let him help me….and let everyone else help me. I have been defensive and selfish…and I have held resentment to everyone who tried to encourage me…and I am so sorry.
Luckily, God gave me a brain. He intends to use my weakness to lift his name up. He intends to bring me through bondages….so I can understand others who are going through them…and he wants to use this to make me stronger. I’ve always told people GOD could heal you, but I never told them how…because I didn’t understand. Now, I kinda get it. I have to admit that I need help, and CHOOSE to accept it! Failing may hurt, and it may be scary to admit…but getting back up really isn’t as hard as they make it out to be. It simply requires that we have FAITH, and we practice it. We choose to look FORWARD to the purpose God has for us. We are open to changing our habits, and we let love in!

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